Day 7: Enlightenment by fire

The sun is shining, and we’re starting to warm to Guruji. We were warned by the other teachers here before he returned from his travels that he can seem a bit strict, but that’s because this ashram is his life and as he travels a lot, he needs to ensure things are run to his standard when he’s away. Years ago I worked for a (somewhat) famous crocodile hunter who was similar in his approach to his staff, and his protection of his brand and how it is presented to his guests, so I respect the desire to ensure everything is ‘just so’ (I know I’d be the same, to be honest!). Adding to that, after his initial first day of flurried activity he’s settled in a bit now and has shown his humorous side to us, as well as given his time to educate us on the parts of his culture that he feels are most pertinent to us… while he could talk, of course. This morning he is busy preparing for the ceremony to begin on time, so he calls for all hands on deck to help prepare.. the Russian, conveniently, sneaking off to practice violin at this time.

We are seated around a holy man, who is preparing a fire space for mantras and offerings to be presented by all of us, seated around it.. once all the mantas are recited and offerings are done, the coals of the ‘sacred fire’ are transferred to Guruji’s area (all those concrete slabs around the property are starting to make sense now), and with the honk of a conk shell trumpet, he’s ready to get started. 3 months of silence starts now.

We’re invited inside his space to offer our well wishes for his ‘sadhana’, his ever faithful Russian disciple longingly calling to him, “we’ll be right here with you all the way Guruji, we love you” and true to her word, she basically didn’t leave, silently watching him as he sat in silence surrounded by fire all afternoon. Different monks have different sadhanas to perform, based on what their master decides is necessary for their detachment from worldly things and eventual attainment of enlightenment. Some must not eat for long periods of time, some most observe silence… in more extreme cases, they must meditate on top of a corpse for a predetermined period of time. If they break it for even one day, one minute.. the clock starts again. Our Guruji has performed his fire sadhana many times, so we know he’s got it in the bag.

Our final hatha yoga class is completed, our last meal eaten on the cold temple floor, and I get one-on-one time with Swamiji to learn his secrets to mastering not eating for 3 months. He’s a very spiritually aware man, and can read me like a book.. he offers insights into why I struggle in this human form, my past life karmas and how I might overcome them, and we discuss everything from pre-birth traumas on infants to philosophies on reincarnation and astrology, until it’s past our bedtime (9pm).

Day 5: The Russian intruder arrives

Guru-ji did indeed arrive last night, and his energy is FULL ON. We had already gotten the impression that he was a bit strict, but he was like a bulldozer ripping through the ashram pointing out things needing repair; problems, and tasks he wants completed asap. He kind of put us on edge when we first met him, as he has a very direct and demanding energy but hey, at least we know he’s going into silence from 10am tomorrow, for 3 months, and we’ll not have to worry about him after tomorrow.

Also, there’s finally an intruder in “our” ashram. She’s about our age, Russian but lives in Germany as a violinist… and she’s hating on the cold more than Verity did – I didn’t think this was possible 😂 The one benefit is, it’s shown Verity how pointless it is to be miserable about a situation that you can do little about, so it’s given her some needed perspective to pull herself out of her frozen funk… she’s back to laughing at herself (actually, she was laughing at herself the whole time that she was seething about the lack of heaters being offered, and frequent power outages… but now she’s witnessing it in someone else, she’s apologised for being a drama queen… I’m just sitting back with the popcorn laughing at them both).

Much love & hand gestures to the friendly staff at the ashram

The Russian met our great guru in Kerala during his recent travels and he invited her to come stay in his ashram, which I’m pretty sure he was regretting within a few hours. She was NOT prepared for the cold, but to add to her suffering, she was 100% not ready for ashram life… which Guruji keeps pointing out to us all, is not a holiday. It’s work, and it’s uncomfortable, and it’s not for everyone.

Hot chai is muy necessito if you want to maintain a morning meditation practice

It’s clearly not for the Russian, as she’s been hiding in her room and only comes out dressed like an Eskimo with her puffer jacket hood tied up so close to her face it looks like she might lose circulation. And she sits at the dinner table (which is the cold marble floor, covered in a thin rug), with a miserable look on her face, begging Guruji to stop with his tasks and activities to spend time with her. She just looks at him with this love-sick puppy look, smiling, hanging on his every word. He invited her to join our daily yoga session, but she walked out after 5 minutes… yoga, evidentially, is also not for her (not sure why you’d come to a yoga ashram then). In satsang, she argues and talks over the gurus when they’re speaking and V and I just look at each other… respect the culture, and the place you’re at sis! Regardless, we just try to do our own thing and “leave her to her misery” as Guruji advises. Ironically, she’s chosen Verity as her partner to vent to about her frustrations, and ask all her questions to. I guess she can tell I’m not having a bar of it.

Ayurvedic massage with steam contraption in the background

I finally get my Ayurvedic oil massage today, and it’s so relaxing – especially followed by a steam in some odd contraption that’s built for one with your head sticking out the top. Oil and sweat drip off my body, and the masseuse covers my head with blankets so I’m really cooking… as claustrophobic as it is, it feels so nice in the cold climate here.

Day 4: Blissful happiness bubble

Happy days, I had a warm cozy sleep with my own heater and lived to see another day and didn’t die from not getting enough oxygen in my sleep – plenty of reasons to smile today. Adding to that, the sun has poked its radiant head out again so it’s warm, in fact so warm I dropped both layers of socks, warmed my frozen little toes out in the garden and even stripped down to a t shirt instead of my usual 2 shirt/2 sweater and pashmina get up. (Verity however, must have ice in her veins as she was still triple layered in a tracksuit and 3 pairs of socks while I was in thin tights and a thin shirt, I don’t know howwww she’s so cold poor thing).

Haven’t gotten enough pics of her actually freezing in Rishikesh, so here’s her still bundled up after a 25-min walk uphill while I was stripped down to singlet & tights already 🤪

We’re due to get a new recruit in the ashram today… aside from Guruji that is, whose arrival seems to have everyone in a flurry like the queen is coming, lots of last-minute grounds maintenance and eyes constantly darting to the gate on high alert… there was supposed to be a new Russian woman coming to study yesterday, no sign of her yet but then they mentioned someone coming today too so maybe we’ll finally have to share “our ashram” (we’d just got used to having the complete attention of the teachers and staff, not to mention the two heaters we’d fought hard to get… hopefully the Russian won’t be as cold as us Aussies and won’t need it).

Most effective method we’ve found for defrosting frozen phalanges 🥶

Our lesson with Swamiji in the sunshine on the steps of the temple today speaks right to Verity, and her rising frustrations about the cold and lack of heating, which is just laughable to me at this point. He talks about observing your anger, or anger in others, and learning the lesson in it. He starts to cover the chakras, but points out that to really learn kundalini, you need to live in solitude for one month to study each chakra (of which there are seven), and cut off all digital access, even talking to other people or looking at their faces is not allowed in this type of learning. Comparing yourself to others, only creates suffering.. so removing all ‘others’ is the way. We obviously don’t have the means to turn into a disciple for a year in India (I’ve had my days of years and years of travel, as tempting as it is I’ve got a life that I love that I’m keen to get back to), but he teaches us what he can, and shares his stories. He mentions casually that he once went 256 days as a “breatharian” which is, nothing but fresh air for 256 days… hold up, what now?! Is that even possible?! No food, no water, for more than half a year. For him it was, and he only ceased after this time at insistence of others in his village, including his own master. He said it was easy… goes to show what the mind is capable of.

Breathwork in the sunshine ☀️

Our temple session in the sun went over time by 40 minutes, none of us noticing as the chats were so engaging… so I sadly missed the Ayurvedic massage I was booked for (and need, lord all this cross legged sitting and yoga is twisting my back up); but we used the free time instead to wander bookshops in the village and consider our next move after the ashram.

We’re contemplating a quick 3-night stay at this nearby yoga ashram where we’re getting ayervedic treatments at, AYM

After hatha yoga in the afternoon, we learnt the new Russian woman had arrived and swiftly asked for a heater (oh sis, it’s not even dark yet… you’re in for trouble if you’re cold already), Verity’s eyes going dark as she protectively tries to guard her heater, pointing to the 3rd heater we already know is broken… haha. I acknowledge it was nice to get a heater for one night, I’m happy to give mine up so that the iceypole that is my dear friend stays warm overnight. I’m laughing as I write this as V’s just come downstairs from meeting our new guest and she’s like, “mate, this chick is already a pain in the ass.. she’s expecting me to help her with her heater, saying this and this doesn’t work, how’s she going to last here etc… this is what we’ve been dealing with for the past 5 days!” Just when I thought she was moving past it, this chick is here to retrigger her and ultimately, I hope, be part of V’s lesson.

Still no sign of Guruji, hopefully he turns up tonight. I go to bed tonight and a feeling of pure happiness comes over me – a blissful state that kept me awake past bedtime cos I was just so friggin elated, over nothing. Not nothing, exactly – it’s a feeling I often get when I deliberately and consciously carve out time in my busy life to prioritise daily meditation, breath awareness, yoga… all the things that silences my busy mind and allow me to drop into my body, and my heart. It’s exactly what I came here for, so like an old friend who feels like sunshine, I allow it to wash over me, and wrap me in a hug. Cue contented sigh.

Day 3: Kundalini Tantra Yoga Ashram

Slept pretty well now I’ve realised I just need to sleep rugged up like a Eskimo with two mattresses as a blanket… we’re improvising here! I’m loving starting our day with Eastern-style pranayamas (breathwork) with the smiling young man being trained up under the ‘Guru-ji” who is basically the monk/master/teacher of this ashram. (Pro tip, just chuck “ji” on the end of anyones name or title in India, boom – instant respect). Speaking of Guruji, he’s due to arrive back in the ashram tomorrow and everyone is excited to have their master home after his travels abroad and around India. He’ll be doing a special fire ceremony to kick off his 3 month stint of no talking, and sitting in lotus position from sun up to sundown every single day. In winter. For 3 months. We can’t believe it, as we shiver in the cold with triple layers. No wonder he’s the top dog!

Our esteemed guru performs this ceremony for up to 6 months on a regular basis… sitting outside in winter for hours every day in silence

We enjoy breakfast, a yummy chickpea curry – and when it’s time for karma yoga we text Swarmiji for direction… he replies with a laugh and says, contemplate. We don’t get it, do you really not have anything for us to do? No toilets to clean? (The job I got in my last ashram stay) He explains later that, there are two different kinds of karma yoga, the external type (tasks done in service for others) and internal, where you go inwards and vibrate positive energy and contemplate your contributions. I get the feeling they’re also letting us enjoy the calm before Guruji arrives and puts us to work, so we take it as a win and Verity gets an Ayurvedic massage while I chill in a cafe with chai.

Temple steps study time

We’re really enjoying our chats and lessons with Swamiji, he’s a character with a wealth of knowledge and very interesting stories and it’s great to have his undivided attention – some of his lessons seem to speak right to whatever we’re dealing with that day. Verity has been in the “spiritual game” for a number of years now, and has been taught variations of different philosophies many times, sometimes by teachers who frequently contradict themselves or don’t quite practice what they preach – and thus she has adapted what works for her, and what will get the best results for her clients, in her own unique style… so we were chatting before class about how she doesn’t always copy verbatim what gurus teach, she likes to be authentic and genuine to what feels right for her (it’s also why she’s so successful in her genuine approach). Similarly, my tarot cards two days in a row this week have spoken about now being the time for deep learning, but do not be a carbon copy of what you’re being taught, be original and unique with your approach. So Swamiji hit the nail on the head with his chat about “monkey vs cat learning” today – he discussed how monkeys learn by a (literal) ‘monkey see, monkey do’ mentality; they copy their mothers exact actions, swinging from tree to tree; also with their monkey mind not being able to focus on one task at a time. Whereas, a cat, when it is first born it sits in stillness until it’s mother picks it up by the scruff and moves it, the kitten be submissive to its ‘guru’ and then learns by doing in secret… he pointed out, you don’t see cats mating in public, giving birth in public, being all up in your face like a dog… cats are moving in silence, they don’t need to be loud and obvious like monkeys. Be like the cat… let your growth, changes and achievements happen in secret without having to broadcast to the world. He refers to many of the western-inspired yoga schools who offer ‘100 hour yoga teacher certification’ and people do these brief courses then promote themselves as a guru, with such limited understanding of the concepts of yoga it’s appalling to people who respect the traditions like he does. Once again, I feel grateful that we’ve come to an authentic ashram to get an introduction to kundalini in the proper way, but I’m starting to realise we won’t even be able to scratch the surface in 7 days (not that I expected to be deeply knowledgeable in a week, I just wanted an intro but Holy Ganesh there’s a lot to cover to understand how kundalini tantra works, let alone how to awaken your kundalini energy).

Now that’s one trend setting iceypole 😜

Verity is starting to feel very real frustrations about the heating situation as she is not coping in the cold, it felt especially arctic today as it was overcast and foggy in the mountains. She pushes a bit, and we manage to score a second heater so tonight I’ll be living it up with my own personal little hairdryer-level-of- power heater in my room thanks to her persistence. We’re warned not to let them run all night, as we’re told many people in India die from not getting enough oxygen when they use them all night (which Verity has done every night, unknowingly), and “Police coming asking questions when foreigners die causes big problems” – we get the feeling from their hesitation to supply more, that people have probably died here from this exact reason… but la la la, ask no questions hear no bad news.