Life after ashram – finding luxury & our body’s max pain threshold in Rishikesh

Well, safe to say Verity has had ENOUGH of straw beds and cold showers (and so have I), so on our last night in the ashram we started looking into nice hotel options. Agoda had an epic 75% off deal on a really nice looking hotel that seemed too good to be true, but we thought we’d just book one night and see how we felt about extending at Moustache Rishikesh Luxuria… or sticking to the plan to change hotels to stay on the other side of the holy Ganges river, and easily explore more of this vibrant city.

Ceremonial offerings to the Ganges river

Well, these guys brought the fucking goods. Scorching hot showers with ‘monsoonal-downpour’ level pressure (a combo we haven’t had once in North India’s winter), epic rooftop and private cabanas for morning yoga, meditation and breathwork; tasty buffet breakfast, all the trimmings including free chocolate and hand written notes on the bed upon check-in… Verity has forgiven me for the rough week in the ashram dorms now she’s in a queen sized bed with room service. Happy lady.

Adding to her joy, we saw a poster for yoga classes and the reviews for the teacher were pretty impressive – almost too impressive, we wondered if they were all from his friends and favourite students – but took a chance anyway as all the ones she favoured over the river were closed down for the winter, so what the heck, we booked with Rebirth Yog Rishikesh for the following mornings’ drop in class. I was a little apprehensive about doing an advanced level 90 min yoga class, when I’m intermediate at best with the world’s tightest hips…. But figured what the hell, I’ll take the low option.

Well, Rakesh has no low option. And as much as I struggled at the start, I’m so very grateful that this passionate and kind human pushed my body, and in turn my mind, as he did. Although I got more “no, that’s not right”‘s and had to hear “Yes, perfect” at the other two advanced students repeatedly, I swallowed my ego and went to my limit.. then Rakesh would come past and apply the pressure to push my stiff and tight body wayyy past that. My breathing was hard and irregular (for which I was constantly told, “no hard breathing please, nose only” and I wanted to retort that I was just trying to stay alive over here haha), and despite the freezing cold temperatures I was soon peeling layers off like I was doing a heavy weights session. This kind of yoga was no joke!

Rakesh pushing me to my stiff body’s limit

But at the end of the 90 minutes, like every good workout, I was so pumped up and pleased with myself for not quitting. Rakesh praised us for giving it our all, and his demeanour changed instantly from a loud, encouraging tyrant (the kind of trainer I love) to a softly-spoken, patient and proud friend. We were hooked – we kept coming back every morning, and extended our stay both on this side of the river and Rishikesh entirely just to be able to keep attending his classes. I’ve truly never stretched my body and had such a strong yoga practice in my whole life, nor an instructor who pushed me like he did… I was hooked!

Highly recommend an Ayurvedic cooking class

After yoga one day, we filled our day with an Ayurvedic cooking lesson from an Ayurvedic doctor to be able to bring home to Australia all of the tasty dishes we were eating and falling in love with. We hit all the favourites and added some new ones: Dahl, hulva (semolina sweet dessert) khichadi (vegetarian porridge), a smoked eggplant curry, Chana masala (chickpea curry) as well as bonus inclusions on the day of Ayurvedic massage oil and my personal favourite, masala chai (Indian spiced tea).

Happy lil lady with my daily chai addiction

All were whipped up in less than 15 minutes each, using fresh vegetables straight from the doctor’s garden and strictly Ayurvedic herbs and spices. We received copies of the recipes and I cannot wait to continue the healthy eating back in Australia now I know how to make all this delicious food that’s made my belly happy this past month.

Verity getting the snaps as I take over in the kitchen as usual (cute outfit I know, we really let ourselves slip in Rishikesh haha)

We’d heard that every evening at one of the main ashrams, a ceremony called Ganga Aarti is performed in 3 main cities along the Ganges river (here, Haridwar and Varanasi), but one of the best without all the hoopla and theatrics was here in Rishikesh, so we decided it was time to do some touristy things again. We climbed to the top of a 13- floor temple, received blessings from holy men for our families and offered our thanks to the Hindi gods at each stop. I love the detail in everything they do when it comes to celebrating their religion – gorgeous flower garlands, beautiful baskets of ceremonial offerings prepared for about 20 cents.. and it’s the one thingy they won’t rip the tourists off for. Lord Shiva is watching after all, can’t be getting bad karma in their place of worship!

Good luck on good luck on good luck

Ganga Aarti was beautiful, watching the devotion in their faces as they chant and studiously participate without so much as a glance at their phone is quite special. We follow along as best as we can, then drop our offering into the Ganges river, taking the lead from some other Indian tourists who fill their empty water bottles with holy Ganges water to take home with them. I look forward to using it in my meditations and rituals I intend to incorporate into my life when I return home (writing this here to keep myself accountable! Can’t be wasting the holy Ganges water).

Taking in the view of Rishikesh from the 13-floor of the Bhootnath Temple, Swarg Ashram

We filled the rest of our Rishikesh ‘Shanti shanti’ week with presence, eating alllll of the tasty food, exploring bookshops and waterfalls, massages, check-ups with an Ayurvedic doctor, meeting locals and even got our India tattoos. I’ve wanted the hamsa hand on the left side of my ribs for almost a decade, and knew that eventually I’d make it back to India and would hold out as long as it takes, to get this symbol in the country I love so much. The artists at Kalka Tattoo were absolute pros, creating a custom design of exactly what I wanted, including the kundalini symbol, third eye for protection, lotus and all the Hindu accents I’d imagined in my head. I forgot how much the ribs hurt… of course I get my biggest, most detailed tattoo in this painful spot. I absolutely love it though.

Preparing for an hour plus of pain

We’ve extended Rishikesh as long as possible, as all of the peace and presence we were seeking in India has arrived on our doorstep here, and we know Varanasi will be fucking HECTIC. How could it not be… thousands of people flock here every day to burn their deceased loved ones bodies to be offered to the Ganges River to break the cycle of reincarnation for the purpose of karmic balancing… and all those emotions, energy (living and dead) and pushy holy men need to go somewhere. We’re prepared, somewhat.. and have decided to book our first organised tour of the whole trip to ensure we see all the best bits of Varanasi as quickly as possible, led by a local who can rescue us when it all gets too hectic.

Our Ayurvedic masterpieces!

We’ve already bought too much stuff, including books in all things Ayurvedic, tantric, doshas and pranayamas so we posted some stuff back and headed into the eye of the storm, Varanasi. Rishikesh, we will 100% be back one day and I absolutely recommend this peaceful town for anyone planning a India trip one day.

Ganga Aarti offering, Rishikesh

Day 7: Enlightenment by fire

The sun is shining, and we’re starting to warm to Guruji. We were warned by the other teachers here before he returned from his travels that he can seem a bit strict, but that’s because this ashram is his life and as he travels a lot, he needs to ensure things are run to his standard when he’s away. Years ago I worked for a (somewhat) famous crocodile hunter who was similar in his approach to his staff, and his protection of his brand and how it is presented to his guests, so I respect the desire to ensure everything is ‘just so’ (I know I’d be the same, to be honest!). Adding to that, after his initial first day of flurried activity he’s settled in a bit now and has shown his humorous side to us, as well as given his time to educate us on the parts of his culture that he feels are most pertinent to us… while he could talk, of course. This morning he is busy preparing for the ceremony to begin on time, so he calls for all hands on deck to help prepare.. the Russian, conveniently, sneaking off to practice violin at this time.

We are seated around a holy man, who is preparing a fire space for mantras and offerings to be presented by all of us, seated around it.. once all the mantas are recited and offerings are done, the coals of the ‘sacred fire’ are transferred to Guruji’s area (all those concrete slabs around the property are starting to make sense now), and with the honk of a conk shell trumpet, he’s ready to get started. 3 months of silence starts now.

We’re invited inside his space to offer our well wishes for his ‘sadhana’, his ever faithful Russian disciple longingly calling to him, “we’ll be right here with you all the way Guruji, we love you” and true to her word, she basically didn’t leave, silently watching him as he sat in silence surrounded by fire all afternoon. Different monks have different sadhanas to perform, based on what their master decides is necessary for their detachment from worldly things and eventual attainment of enlightenment. Some must not eat for long periods of time, some most observe silence… in more extreme cases, they must meditate on top of a corpse for a predetermined period of time. If they break it for even one day, one minute.. the clock starts again. Our Guruji has performed his fire sadhana many times, so we know he’s got it in the bag.

Our final hatha yoga class is completed, our last meal eaten on the cold temple floor, and I get one-on-one time with Swamiji to learn his secrets to mastering not eating for 3 months. He’s a very spiritually aware man, and can read me like a book.. he offers insights into why I struggle in this human form, my past life karmas and how I might overcome them, and we discuss everything from pre-birth traumas on infants to philosophies on reincarnation and astrology, until it’s past our bedtime (9pm).

Day 6: “Ashram life is not a holiday”

I woke up to the distinct smell of rain this morning before pranayama, and with a sinking feeling I wondered if this means Guruji wouldn’t be starting his fire ceremony and silence from today… surely not, these customs don’t get affected by the weather, do they?

Pranayama is fast becoming one of my favourite parts of ashram life, and as we were finishing up our 90 minute practice and heading for shavasna (everyone’s favourite part of yoga) with guruji’s young apprentice, the boss swept into the temple space and barked orders that he’d be back in 5 minutes to take over. We waited 20 mins, all done, wondering what we’d be doing and eventually he came in, and led us through the most physically intense pranayama sequence we’d done yet. Forget lotus position with a finger pressed gently to your nostril: this was arms above the head, exhalations so hard there was runny mucus spraying from all noses, and for the life of me, I couldn’t do one round without getting it wrong in Guruji’s eyes. “(To Verity) Yes you, good… you; (Points angrily at me) no this is NOT right, do like this… NO, not like that like this…) and I keep trying and clearly disappointing him. He keeps comparing my form to V’s, and my ego wants to yell back “She’s a qualified breathwork facilitator! She does this for a living!”, but I know this is just my wounded ego at not getting it perfect so I shut the hell up and do my best, and eventually get the nod of approval.

Our Guruji

As suspected, Guruji advises he will not be starting his ceremony today due to the sun not being out, which means we’re all getting put to work. Even the Russian is ordered to join us in completing karma yoga, as “ashram life is not a holiday, you want holiday and easy life you go somewhere else” and he wants all the toilets and bathrooms scrubbed to his satisfaction. At 10:30am sharp, Verity & I get cracking while I notice the Russian chilling in her room. I let her know in my sweetest voice which bathroom she can start on, and she screws her face up in disgust, puts her hands out and says “Oh no, I can’t do that, what about my hands? Are there gloves?” We weren’t offered any gloves so V & I have just gotten started with the basic cleaning items we were offered. I said I’d ask for her, as I could clearly see she was looking for any way out of doing it. I get the princess some gloves, and she barely acknowledges me before taking herself outside to practice playing violin, completely ignoring the task we’d all been set.

We got a quick photo with our beloved Swamiji on the last day.. you’ll see our friend in the background still going with the violin 🤣

Now, I’m not a huge violin fan on a good day, but when it’s screeching from an ungrateful spoilt brat who refuses to stop being miserable or chip in, it’s really not a great sound for either V or I. We try to focus our energy on the task, and I remind myself that whether she was here or not, we’d surely be given this task so who cares if she doesn’t want to do her part. Conveniently, as soon we’re done with karma yoga, she is done with her musical contribution… and is back to being miserable and complaining to us. To add insult to her not chipping in to clean anything, she takes the only toilet roll in the ashram as her personal hankerchief, and after lunch we can hear her hacking and gagging, and possibly throwing up in our clean bathroom… and she most definitely didn’t clean afterwards, or use the mop to clean the floor after her shower not once… and not to be foul, the bathroom reeked of menstrual blood on top of that. Woosah, we remind ourselves… She is our lesson (Also glad we cleaned the other bathroom now, leave her to it).

As we head for bed this evening and I’m doing a meditation – at 8:30pm on a Saturday, wooo we’re wild I know – I hear down the hall Guruji pulling V from her bed for some reason. My lights are off, but he still knocks and says come, we are doing special ceremony in the temple for new year, let’s go, not sleeping, ceremony until midnight only… I was so not keen, initially. I rugged up & went downstairs, the Russian was ignoring calls to help prepare the temple (shocking), but I adjusted my attitude and dove into helping in any way that I could.

Turns out, it was really something special to be invited to sit in on this special ceremony to commemorate the change in season. Our Swamiji, who we are so fond of, is so devoted to his worship and it was beautiful to witness. We were invited to make offerings into the fire – releasing of negative energy or offerings for more positive blessings, as we choose – and I swear I sent prayers and good fortune to every person, place, animal and spirit I’ve ever met over the course of this ritual… and even managed to be in bed by 11pm. Totally worth getting outta bed for!

Day 5: The Russian intruder arrives

Guru-ji did indeed arrive last night, and his energy is FULL ON. We had already gotten the impression that he was a bit strict, but he was like a bulldozer ripping through the ashram pointing out things needing repair; problems, and tasks he wants completed asap. He kind of put us on edge when we first met him, as he has a very direct and demanding energy but hey, at least we know he’s going into silence from 10am tomorrow, for 3 months, and we’ll not have to worry about him after tomorrow.

Also, there’s finally an intruder in “our” ashram. She’s about our age, Russian but lives in Germany as a violinist… and she’s hating on the cold more than Verity did – I didn’t think this was possible 😂 The one benefit is, it’s shown Verity how pointless it is to be miserable about a situation that you can do little about, so it’s given her some needed perspective to pull herself out of her frozen funk… she’s back to laughing at herself (actually, she was laughing at herself the whole time that she was seething about the lack of heaters being offered, and frequent power outages… but now she’s witnessing it in someone else, she’s apologised for being a drama queen… I’m just sitting back with the popcorn laughing at them both).

Much love & hand gestures to the friendly staff at the ashram

The Russian met our great guru in Kerala during his recent travels and he invited her to come stay in his ashram, which I’m pretty sure he was regretting within a few hours. She was NOT prepared for the cold, but to add to her suffering, she was 100% not ready for ashram life… which Guruji keeps pointing out to us all, is not a holiday. It’s work, and it’s uncomfortable, and it’s not for everyone.

Hot chai is muy necessito if you want to maintain a morning meditation practice

It’s clearly not for the Russian, as she’s been hiding in her room and only comes out dressed like an Eskimo with her puffer jacket hood tied up so close to her face it looks like she might lose circulation. And she sits at the dinner table (which is the cold marble floor, covered in a thin rug), with a miserable look on her face, begging Guruji to stop with his tasks and activities to spend time with her. She just looks at him with this love-sick puppy look, smiling, hanging on his every word. He invited her to join our daily yoga session, but she walked out after 5 minutes… yoga, evidentially, is also not for her (not sure why you’d come to a yoga ashram then). In satsang, she argues and talks over the gurus when they’re speaking and V and I just look at each other… respect the culture, and the place you’re at sis! Regardless, we just try to do our own thing and “leave her to her misery” as Guruji advises. Ironically, she’s chosen Verity as her partner to vent to about her frustrations, and ask all her questions to. I guess she can tell I’m not having a bar of it.

Ayurvedic massage with steam contraption in the background

I finally get my Ayurvedic oil massage today, and it’s so relaxing – especially followed by a steam in some odd contraption that’s built for one with your head sticking out the top. Oil and sweat drip off my body, and the masseuse covers my head with blankets so I’m really cooking… as claustrophobic as it is, it feels so nice in the cold climate here.

Day 4: Blissful happiness bubble

Happy days, I had a warm cozy sleep with my own heater and lived to see another day and didn’t die from not getting enough oxygen in my sleep – plenty of reasons to smile today. Adding to that, the sun has poked its radiant head out again so it’s warm, in fact so warm I dropped both layers of socks, warmed my frozen little toes out in the garden and even stripped down to a t shirt instead of my usual 2 shirt/2 sweater and pashmina get up. (Verity however, must have ice in her veins as she was still triple layered in a tracksuit and 3 pairs of socks while I was in thin tights and a thin shirt, I don’t know howwww she’s so cold poor thing).

Haven’t gotten enough pics of her actually freezing in Rishikesh, so here’s her still bundled up after a 25-min walk uphill while I was stripped down to singlet & tights already 🤪

We’re due to get a new recruit in the ashram today… aside from Guruji that is, whose arrival seems to have everyone in a flurry like the queen is coming, lots of last-minute grounds maintenance and eyes constantly darting to the gate on high alert… there was supposed to be a new Russian woman coming to study yesterday, no sign of her yet but then they mentioned someone coming today too so maybe we’ll finally have to share “our ashram” (we’d just got used to having the complete attention of the teachers and staff, not to mention the two heaters we’d fought hard to get… hopefully the Russian won’t be as cold as us Aussies and won’t need it).

Most effective method we’ve found for defrosting frozen phalanges 🥶

Our lesson with Swamiji in the sunshine on the steps of the temple today speaks right to Verity, and her rising frustrations about the cold and lack of heating, which is just laughable to me at this point. He talks about observing your anger, or anger in others, and learning the lesson in it. He starts to cover the chakras, but points out that to really learn kundalini, you need to live in solitude for one month to study each chakra (of which there are seven), and cut off all digital access, even talking to other people or looking at their faces is not allowed in this type of learning. Comparing yourself to others, only creates suffering.. so removing all ‘others’ is the way. We obviously don’t have the means to turn into a disciple for a year in India (I’ve had my days of years and years of travel, as tempting as it is I’ve got a life that I love that I’m keen to get back to), but he teaches us what he can, and shares his stories. He mentions casually that he once went 256 days as a “breatharian” which is, nothing but fresh air for 256 days… hold up, what now?! Is that even possible?! No food, no water, for more than half a year. For him it was, and he only ceased after this time at insistence of others in his village, including his own master. He said it was easy… goes to show what the mind is capable of.

Breathwork in the sunshine ☀️

Our temple session in the sun went over time by 40 minutes, none of us noticing as the chats were so engaging… so I sadly missed the Ayurvedic massage I was booked for (and need, lord all this cross legged sitting and yoga is twisting my back up); but we used the free time instead to wander bookshops in the village and consider our next move after the ashram.

We’re contemplating a quick 3-night stay at this nearby yoga ashram where we’re getting ayervedic treatments at, AYM

After hatha yoga in the afternoon, we learnt the new Russian woman had arrived and swiftly asked for a heater (oh sis, it’s not even dark yet… you’re in for trouble if you’re cold already), Verity’s eyes going dark as she protectively tries to guard her heater, pointing to the 3rd heater we already know is broken… haha. I acknowledge it was nice to get a heater for one night, I’m happy to give mine up so that the iceypole that is my dear friend stays warm overnight. I’m laughing as I write this as V’s just come downstairs from meeting our new guest and she’s like, “mate, this chick is already a pain in the ass.. she’s expecting me to help her with her heater, saying this and this doesn’t work, how’s she going to last here etc… this is what we’ve been dealing with for the past 5 days!” Just when I thought she was moving past it, this chick is here to retrigger her and ultimately, I hope, be part of V’s lesson.

Still no sign of Guruji, hopefully he turns up tonight. I go to bed tonight and a feeling of pure happiness comes over me – a blissful state that kept me awake past bedtime cos I was just so friggin elated, over nothing. Not nothing, exactly – it’s a feeling I often get when I deliberately and consciously carve out time in my busy life to prioritise daily meditation, breath awareness, yoga… all the things that silences my busy mind and allow me to drop into my body, and my heart. It’s exactly what I came here for, so like an old friend who feels like sunshine, I allow it to wash over me, and wrap me in a hug. Cue contented sigh.

Day 3: Kundalini Tantra Yoga Ashram

Slept pretty well now I’ve realised I just need to sleep rugged up like a Eskimo with two mattresses as a blanket… we’re improvising here! I’m loving starting our day with Eastern-style pranayamas (breathwork) with the smiling young man being trained up under the ‘Guru-ji” who is basically the monk/master/teacher of this ashram. (Pro tip, just chuck “ji” on the end of anyones name or title in India, boom – instant respect). Speaking of Guruji, he’s due to arrive back in the ashram tomorrow and everyone is excited to have their master home after his travels abroad and around India. He’ll be doing a special fire ceremony to kick off his 3 month stint of no talking, and sitting in lotus position from sun up to sundown every single day. In winter. For 3 months. We can’t believe it, as we shiver in the cold with triple layers. No wonder he’s the top dog!

Our esteemed guru performs this ceremony for up to 6 months on a regular basis… sitting outside in winter for hours every day in silence

We enjoy breakfast, a yummy chickpea curry – and when it’s time for karma yoga we text Swarmiji for direction… he replies with a laugh and says, contemplate. We don’t get it, do you really not have anything for us to do? No toilets to clean? (The job I got in my last ashram stay) He explains later that, there are two different kinds of karma yoga, the external type (tasks done in service for others) and internal, where you go inwards and vibrate positive energy and contemplate your contributions. I get the feeling they’re also letting us enjoy the calm before Guruji arrives and puts us to work, so we take it as a win and Verity gets an Ayurvedic massage while I chill in a cafe with chai.

Temple steps study time

We’re really enjoying our chats and lessons with Swamiji, he’s a character with a wealth of knowledge and very interesting stories and it’s great to have his undivided attention – some of his lessons seem to speak right to whatever we’re dealing with that day. Verity has been in the “spiritual game” for a number of years now, and has been taught variations of different philosophies many times, sometimes by teachers who frequently contradict themselves or don’t quite practice what they preach – and thus she has adapted what works for her, and what will get the best results for her clients, in her own unique style… so we were chatting before class about how she doesn’t always copy verbatim what gurus teach, she likes to be authentic and genuine to what feels right for her (it’s also why she’s so successful in her genuine approach). Similarly, my tarot cards two days in a row this week have spoken about now being the time for deep learning, but do not be a carbon copy of what you’re being taught, be original and unique with your approach. So Swamiji hit the nail on the head with his chat about “monkey vs cat learning” today – he discussed how monkeys learn by a (literal) ‘monkey see, monkey do’ mentality; they copy their mothers exact actions, swinging from tree to tree; also with their monkey mind not being able to focus on one task at a time. Whereas, a cat, when it is first born it sits in stillness until it’s mother picks it up by the scruff and moves it, the kitten be submissive to its ‘guru’ and then learns by doing in secret… he pointed out, you don’t see cats mating in public, giving birth in public, being all up in your face like a dog… cats are moving in silence, they don’t need to be loud and obvious like monkeys. Be like the cat… let your growth, changes and achievements happen in secret without having to broadcast to the world. He refers to many of the western-inspired yoga schools who offer ‘100 hour yoga teacher certification’ and people do these brief courses then promote themselves as a guru, with such limited understanding of the concepts of yoga it’s appalling to people who respect the traditions like he does. Once again, I feel grateful that we’ve come to an authentic ashram to get an introduction to kundalini in the proper way, but I’m starting to realise we won’t even be able to scratch the surface in 7 days (not that I expected to be deeply knowledgeable in a week, I just wanted an intro but Holy Ganesh there’s a lot to cover to understand how kundalini tantra works, let alone how to awaken your kundalini energy).

Now that’s one trend setting iceypole 😜

Verity is starting to feel very real frustrations about the heating situation as she is not coping in the cold, it felt especially arctic today as it was overcast and foggy in the mountains. She pushes a bit, and we manage to score a second heater so tonight I’ll be living it up with my own personal little hairdryer-level-of- power heater in my room thanks to her persistence. We’re warned not to let them run all night, as we’re told many people in India die from not getting enough oxygen when they use them all night (which Verity has done every night, unknowingly), and “Police coming asking questions when foreigners die causes big problems” – we get the feeling from their hesitation to supply more, that people have probably died here from this exact reason… but la la la, ask no questions hear no bad news.

Day 2: cramming our knowledge

Today is the first official day of our course, and I’ve been doing some study cramming by reading “Kundalini Tantra”, a book written by our ashram’s founding guru Swami Satyanada Saraswati which we found in the library/storeroom.

So many books! I’m in heaven…

I knew from our initial chat with Swamiji upon arrival yesterday that he just assumes we are familiar with a lot of the Hindu names and terms for things, which I’m not really – and Verity learnt a lot of it in her yoga teacher training 8 years ago but has forgotten a lot as she doesn’t use it in her practice these days, so we’re both a little rusty. I’ve even started a cheat sheet note on my phone on all the main Hindu gods names, their main role in the culture and key traits of each, including pictures. Then there’s the Hindu names for all of the chakras, the difference between nadi, prana and how the sushumna flow affects the kundalini awakening and how it all ties in… And here I was thinking we signed up for the beginners course!

But our Hatha yoga instructor assured us that we’re in the best place in Rishikesh to learn the key philosophies of tantra, and she loves teaching at this ashram because unlike some others, the gurus here really honour the ancient traditions so we’re getting a real deep dive into kundalini tantra. As long as we can keep up I guess!

Our first lesson is with Sagrad, a smiley young Indian man who speaks better English than anyone we’ve met here so far, which is a relief – I can tell now that some of the teachings will be quite complex, so trying to understand their accent AND the philosophies presented was a little concerning. He took us through a variety of pranayamas, introducing us to some new Eastern-specialties of breathwork and gave us a bit of background on kundalini tantra – ok, we got this!

Breakfast was served with the overly attentive staff watching our every bite… we’d try to communicate with them, get to know them, but their English is nearly as bad as our Hindi. The young fella, Deneesh, is the cook; while a much older gentlemen with only one tooth is his helper, grounds maintenance, all-rounder. They were trying to tell us something important, repeating the same phrase in Hindi and us looking sadly perplexed saying “sorry, we don’t understand…” and when Daneesh tried to move on to explain another way, the older guy, Sareshim just kept looking right at me. He pointed to me and said, “She, Hindi..” and kept repeating the Hindi words, like he swore I could understand if he just gave me a moment to access that part of my brain. Again, I feel like I was Indian in a past life – and it felt in that moment like this spiritual old man knew it too, and thought I’d just be able to pluck out some Hindi from my soul’s memory and understand him any second. Sorry to disappoint buddy!

Meeting the locals 😉

The schedule is a bit all over the place today, due to us starting early as the only attendees and it changed a few times throughout the day… We were waiting to start karma yoga, and our guru couldn’t think of anything to get us to do, so we took ourselves out for a walk to explore the local area. To our delight, lotsssss of Ayurvedic massage and treatment centres around, organic food shops galore and a dozen signs for drop-in yoga classes – V noted it has major Ubud (Bali) vibes in this part of town and I agree . We lost track of time until we got a text to say, our class is due to start… we quickly checked the schedule which said lunch was right about now (Oops, we’re gonna be late), but no mention of class until 3:30 but we were assured, no worries, shanti shanti… see you soon.

The walk back to the ashram was uphill, so thankfully we got a bit of heat in our blood rushing back cos we’ve been freezing, with triple layers on the top, bottom and even right down to the socks since we arrived. Swamiji suggested we sit outside of the temple in the sun for our lesson, where he introduced us to some basic ideas passed down from his gurus, the history of the Vedic scriptures & India’s past names before he launched into grilling us with the intro philosophical questions- “Who are you? How do you know that is you, by a label your parents gave you? You have a body but you are not your body. How do you know you have eyes? Who are you when you’re sleeping?” and we listened to him talk about India’s history, and why learning tantra in this way is the only way to truly learn it. I’m excited, but nervous as due to the small class sizes (Erm, two of us), when he’s grilling you for an answer & you take your best guess and he shoots back another question immediately… there’s nowhere to hide when there’s only two people he can call upon to answer his riddles!

After class, we have a tasty veg thali in the sunshine with the whole gang (the staff always eating after us, although we wish they’d join us, it’s not in their custom) then pull up some meditation cushions on the temple steps for self study. Our last class for today is hatha yoga with a beautiful Indian woman who speaks fantastic English; we start with the root chakra today and flow through all of them throughout the week. She builds our confidence talking about the unique difference of this ashram, so although we’re freezing and V doesn’t think she can handle sleeping without the heater (it’s my turn tonight, but the poor darl is freezing with her sinus infection as well so I’ll let her have it), I’m grateful to have this experience to learn the REAL kundalini tantra method. We’re stripped of our “western comforts” here, and I’m quite pleased with myself for being able to handle this simplistic lifestyle for a week (so far at least!).

Kundalini tantra yoga ashram

Day 1

We arrived a day early to allow ourselves time to settle in, and find some shanti shanti (peace) before the course starts tomorrow. We thought we’d arrive early to secure the best rooms & even possibly our first private room of the trip, but we needn’t have worried… we are the only guests in the ashram at this time, and the only ones on the 7 day kundalini yoga course this week – I’m fairly certain we’ll be the only guests all week; the last guest, we’re told, departed earlier today. NOT what we were expecting (but then am I really surprised at this point of the trip?!)- my previous ashram stay in Kerala had about 50 guests during my stay – but hardly surprising given the sheer lack of tourists, and especially western foreigners in India at the moment (thanks covid).

The ashram property is quite bare and basic; spare a few concrete slabs for fire ceremonies and other unknowns, there’s a concrete building with a temple, a large two-story building filled with simple dorms with mattresses made from straw and thats about it. There are two helpers, neither speaking or understanding more than a few words of English, but they smile and we smile back.

I remind myself we didn’t come here for the ambience, we came here to go inwards, so I don’t dwell on this too much (we didn’t come here for the freakin’ landscaping Belle). High white walls with 4 rows of barbed wire at the top reminds me a bit of a prison, but I assure myself it’s to keep us safe and I’m sure quite necessary in these parts. There’s a few sparse trees, a lot of crumbled rock and building materials scattered and I wonder if it’s under renovation or just hasn’t been maintained so well post-covid and a lack of incoming funds (which seems to be the case with a lot of properties in India, and even Fiji in my visit last year… which is completely understandable given the circumstances). Reading back on this bit, it sounds like I’m trying to talk myself into it haha forever the eternal optimist… yes, it’s basic; but in my previous visits to India I spent the entire trip in similar properties for $2 p.night lodgings so when did I turn into such a princess?! Suck it up buttercup, you’re not a ‘5-star all the time’ type anyway.

As we do very often when embarking on these adventures together, Verity & I looked at each other with a “what have we gotten ourselves into?!” face. But we were here for it, whatever ‘it’ turned out to be. Buy the ticket, take the ride as I like to say!

The head guru of this ashram is currently away until mid week, so we were met with his substitute who is visiting Rishikesh from his village at this time… partially because it is freezing in his village right now (and fucking FREEZING here too, good lord shiva), but also because there is a 9-part Netflix docu-series being made on his life and healing abilities at the moment. We took tea (no sweetened, milky masala chai versions in here – it’s only herbal, and forget about coffee either), and listened to this wise guru, draped in traditional orange robes, speak to us.

Swamiji has been a student of yogic practices all his life, but has also lived multiple lifetimes already it seems. He started as an engineer, then mastered in philosophy, psychology and a range of other subjects, often visiting a new country for “just a week” then staying for years and years. He goes where he is called to, and since his first visit to Rishikesh in 1997 he has seen the traditional practices of yoga go downhill, much to his evident dismay. He calls what is practiced today, “supermarket tantra”, and especially in relation to what we came to study, kundalini tantra, he is appalled to see this ancient, sacred practice reduced to how it is represented in the west, as being all about sex.. it’s about the energy flow in your body and how you use it in the world, but many are doing quick one-week courses and heading home to declare themselves a guru on the topic. I can appreciate how passionate he is, and the length and depth of the study he has achieved over the decades of his service… so I’m grateful we made the pilgrimage to India to do exactly what I’d hoped to do – learn the core philosophies of tantra on a spiritual level through traditional practice, as it was intended by those who invented it and passed it down. He warns us that you cannot learn tantra in one week, you can only have an introduction, and seems disappointed we aren’t doing the month long teacher training course… but hey, we’ve all gotta start somewhere. He asks us our experience with tantra, me feeling like a bit of a rookie as Verity lists her vast toolkit of healing modalities she has studied – I kind of let her take that question and make us sound more advanced than we are, cos here I am just an unqualified knowledge seeker who follows my intuition and has long yearned to learn more about this practice.

We choose our rooms, and start layering up cos HOLY SHIT it is cold. We thought the cold snap in Rajastan was as bad as it would get for us, but we’re further north here in Rishikesh, almost to the Nepal border.. and adding to it, we’re in the freakin’ mountains at this ashram (Great for ambience and quiet, the sound of the river running into the holy Ganges my main distraction as I write this… but not great for two Darwin gals who can’t seem to pack right for any stop of this trip). In my little dorm, there is 3 single beds with straw mattresses, and I grab all mattresses on offer and pile them onto one to try cushion the rock hard base. The only blanket is a thin rug, so I use one of the mattresses as a top blanket.. holy fuck we’re going to freeze tonight! There’s one tiny portable heater in the room we study in, and the helpers gesture for us to take it up to the room… but as we’ve chosen seperate rooms, and I got the first hot shower (thank god for that blessing), I let Verity take the heater. She’s been far more freezing than I this trip, and battling a cold so it’s the least I can do.

The bell is rung, to signal dinner is ready. Our curries and chapatis are served on metal thali trays on the floor, where we sit cross-legged to eat in silence while the two helpers watch our every bite. I’ve never had someone watch me eat like this, let alone two at once… I try to smile and give the thumbs up to assure we like the food in hope they may relax and stand down but to no avail. The food truly is really good, all vegan with no spice or heavy fats, as Swamiji told us “Indian people eat so poorly, too much milk and fats, very heavy for the body”… he’s not wrong, and I tell myself I could use a break from shoving all of the above in my face multiple times a day as I have been. I’m laughing with flashbacks of my first and last ashram stay similar to this, in south India… my bodybuilder boyfriend at the time complained incessantly about having to fold his body up to sit cross legged on the floor, constantly asking for more food, as he was so unaccustomed to eating this way… I had to go back last night and reread the blog posts from that time just to compare them to now, for a laugh.

Dinner is done, so we do a bit of yin yoga to unwind and prepare for bed. Being that we are the only ones on the course, instead of starting at 11am after everyone else arrives we’re getting into it at 7am, so I set my first alarm of the trip and bundle up into my very firm bed to get some rest.

Vagabonding in Varkala

I have found a word that perfectly sums up my life at the moment. Or rather, Brett discovered this word, but whatever. That word is Vagabond – see definition below.

So on saturday afternoon, I left the ashram & headed to Varkala to meet Bretto. Varkala is a quiet beach town hanging precariously on the edge of jagged cliffs – the cliffs below have vanished in previous years landslides and sudden drops, making it seem unsafe yet nobody seems concerned. Such is the laid back life of Varkala – nobody seems concerned about anything. The tourist season has come to a grinding halt, and locals seem more occupied with getting as stoned and drunk as they can, rather than serve their last remaining customers. They have given up hope of sucking in hoards of tourists for pashmina shawls, jewellery and statues, and most businesses have completely shut up shop for the season – you can’t help but feel sorry for them. That is, until you try to get served at any of the still operating cafes and restaurants… Expect to wait around an hour for even a simple omelette, even if you are the only person in the restaurant. Twice in one day we had to send chicken back as it was still raw on the inside… Take care in Varkala. Check it before you eat it!

We’ve enjoyed the last few days in a bargain guesthouse run by a sweet Indian lady, complete with en suite and balcony… I even went and bought a yoga mat & carry bag and have started doing yoga in my room to Enya – the perfect way to start any day. I think I have yoga burnt into my brain after the ashram stay… It’s not a bad thing though. I’m enjoying riding the natural high after the ashram stay – I’ve even agreed to go on the first diet of my life! Time to stop snacking on chocolate and Indian sweets, and get back into shape. Brett was the one who wanted to do it first, but if I’m sitting there gorging on pizza, fruit shakes and chocolate the whole time it’s not going to be very easy for him – so I’ve bitten the bullet. First diet of my life… Let’s see how long I can stick to this!

So we leave Varkala today, heading via train to Trivandrum, the capital of Kerala – then a 17-hour bus trip to my least favourite place in India – Chennai. We hang out here for a night before boarding a plane to the amazing Andaman Islands, something both Brett & I have been dying to do. 3 weeks of diving, snorkeling, yoga and restricted eating (except on Saturday which is cheat day – on Saturdays we will go nuts!). Very much looking forward to the Andamans.

And since Internet is almost unheard of over there (the islands are classed as India, but they are closer in fact to Thailand than India) and is slower than a snail, we might not be online too much… So hang in there faithful blog followers. I will as always try to touch base as often as possible. And after Andaman Islands, we head to Sri Lanka to start our one month placement volunteering; first at an elephant orphanage, and then teaching English to Buddhist Monks. Should be an awesome experience, and plenty of blog updates!

Hope you’re all happy and healthy, and enjoying life. Till next time…

– Belle

Ashram stay – Day Five

Ashram stay – Day Five

Today is my ashram departure day. I miss my lover, I’m over the 5am wake-ups but more than anything I’m done with sitting cross-legged for 8 hours a day. My body aches and I’m ready to do nothing on a beach for a while.

All complaining aside, I really enjoyed my stay at the ashram and am so glad I came, and also that I stayed an extra couple of days until I got what I came for. Maybe it’s because of where I am, but even after just 5-6 days here I am already feeling more calm, focused and my mind is definitely a lot quieter. Instead of the usual 50 random thoughts running through my head every minute of every day, there’s 5. I’ve still got a long way to go, but I feel like I’ve definitely learnt some skills to achieve what I set out for. And I feel amazing. Between the pure vegetarian food we eat here, the no alcohol, the meditation, the yoga and the calming surroundings, I feel dizzyingly happy. I am just loving where I am in my life right now, and feeling more thankful for the blessings in my life than I ever have before. I couldn’t have asked for a better ashram experience if I tried. Not bad for $7.50 a day for a stay here.

I know some of you have shown some interest in my ashram stay, so I have made sure to go into great detail explaining my time here so you have a greater idea of what it’s all about – sorry if it bores anyone else! If anyone has any questions or wants some more information, feel free to ask as always. Here’s the link to the Ashram below:

http://www.sivananda.org/neyyardam/

– Belle