I hope you’ve enjoyed keeping up with this little adventure of mine! So many people have asked over the past 11 years why I say India is my favourite country of all, so this is to satisfy your curiosity – as well as a bit of a time capsule for myself to look back on my epic adventures when I’m old and grey and my legs don’t work to jetset anymore (or my stomach can’t handle the sheer quantity of delicious local food I consume when I travel!).
I’ve impressed myself with how much I’ve managed to keep up the blog posts on this trip… India has always inspired my creative energy, and I know how bad my memory is; if I don’t write it down when it happens, I likely won’t remember I did it in a few years. And if the photos aren’t on the internet, they will disappear forever – I try not to think about how many thousands of my epic photos from around the world are gone forever, thanks to corrupted hard drives & USB sticks (kids today will never know the struggle), lost phones and cameras. As someone who lives to travel, the photos and these words are all I will have one day… so WordPress, don’t ever fold, please!
I’ve tried to accurately convey the ‘sweet and the sour’ of this intoxicating place I love so much – it’s not always all rainbows and butterflies in this complex, chaotic and charismatic country, nor is it always utterly demanding and overwhelming. It’s an assault on the senses, as well as a test of your spirit and your ability to roll with the challenges. But she’s beautiful in her own magical way.
One minute you can be irritated by a pushy tout, the next you can’t help but break into a huge smile at a dirty child waving his hand in your face, beaming a radiant smile, screaming ‘Hi, Hello!!”, with this eternally optimistic and happy demeanour. I’ve met people who sleep in the cold streets in North India with nothing but a dirty potato sack under them, who are happier than some CEOs. We could all learn a thing or two about happiness from the ‘poor people’ of India who, in the most important ways, are richer than all of us.
One new lesson I learnt on this trip, in a post-covid world, is how backwards we’ve got our priorities in the west around family and togetherness. We think our independence makes us strong (Personally, as a single woman who pays 100% of my own way and lifestyle on my own, notice this trait in myself so strongly), when sometimes, being able to lean on others, and having a community to help us out, can relieve so much of our suffering. The Western way of life is impoverished in a community/relationship sense, which is in stark contrast to the East. Of course, when it comes to parents with young children… we all agree ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and there’s not one parent I know who doesn’t wish they had more familial support around them. But for many of us, our family members are still alive and able-bodied… but we have different priorities that maybe places us in different cities, and perhaps differing opinions have kept us divided. I don’t know many people who didn’t have at least a heated discussion about Covid/vaccines etc in the past 3 years with a family member. I’ve heard of people literally getting into punch-ups with their brothers over it. Friendships or sibling bonds are lost for good, because we don’t agree. Do you think they don’t disagree on the big stuff in Indian families too? Sure they do. Yet somehow, they will still place presence and their bonds above their opinions and stick it out, finding a resolution somehow. Whereas we walk out, and blame the others’ ‘closed-minded, uninformed opinion’, or ‘conspiracy theory bullshit’ on why we don’t talk anymore. So now many people are alone, struggling with depression, overwhelmed and anxious, lacking the bonds we once had but unwilling to compromise to coexist. But in India, they were already cramming sometimes 10 or more family members into one small apartment, or perhaps one small tin hut in a slum village… if you’re having a disagreement with someone you share a bed with, you don’t really have a choice but to suck it up. And maybe sometimes for the greater good, they’re right to do so.
I ended this trip in Mumbai, one of my favourite cities, where once again, I did a walking tour of the biggest slum in the city, Dharavi. I was curious to see, in more than 10 years, how it had changed, and if they’d finally had some support from the government to relocate them to more permanent dwellings. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the government had finally offered apartments to some of the long term residents, and I thought, amazing! They must be so happy to not live on top of each other in a slum. I was wrong. Our guide, who lived in a slum himself, said many of them refused to leave because the sense of community and togetherness was so strong in the slum. Living in an apartment building cuts off frequent access to your family and friends, and why in god’s name would they want that?! They would literally prefer to live in a makeshift home with no running water than isolate themselves. It made me think of my childhood, where family members, friends, and neighbours would drop in unannounced all the time, and it was fun and welcomed. It has probably made me the extroverted people-person I am today, because we always had different people in the house. There was always someone to lean on for support for whatever I was dealing with, or to play a game that I liked but my siblings didn’t. Nowadays, we don’t turn up unless we’ve prearranged it and reconfirmed our arrival by text or a phone call. Unannounced drop-ins aren’t exactly encouraged. How is that isolation helping us with our sense of unity? How do I know my best mate is secretly suffering with depression, when I am literally waiting for them to pick up the phone and point it out to me. But in a slum, with your friend sleeping on a mat next to you, if they’re crying themselves to sleep at night, you know. And there’s no way these lovely people are ignoring their loved ones tears; they’re supporting each other in every sense of the word, and it is really beautiful. Whereas in the west, we live in environments where we see fewer people, and even when we do, we’re often so distracted on our phones that we’re not really listening to each other or being fully present. That latest iPhone that you paid $2000 for it is costing you a lot more than you realise.
I also got to experience a completely different India this time… as it was the sweaty hot south end of this vibrant country I visited a decade ago. 4 weeks freezing our butts off in north India was so different, from the food to the landscape, but the people are still the same. They’re used to foreigners a bit more, and they’re using their camera phones to ask for countless “selfie madam, selfie” rather than just stare at me and smile, or try to hold my hand (the little old ladies still love to hold my hand like a long lost daughter, and it warms my heart). I had so many locals look at me quizzically, and say “I’ve met you before, haven’t I? I swear I know your face!”, and I just laugh and say no. Strangers told me countless times, I look/act/behave Indian. The spirit of these kind-hearted people make my heart feel at home, so I can’t help but think there’s some truth in their words.
Another difference, and in part one of the driving motivators for me to come back while I’m single, is I wanted to challenge myself and visit India on my own. I love to push myself out of my comfort zone, and last time India felt “safe” because I was in a relationship and had my boyfriend to ‘protect me’. I’d heard stories of single girls getting unwelcomed attention from males, and it sounded too full on for me… similarly, I used to think it was scary to travel Central & South America as a single woman… so just like I did 7 years ago, I challenged my preconceived ideas (fuck a comfort zone, honestly) and took off on my own to show myself I could do it, and I did. India was no different – it hasn’t been as full on as I was bracing for at all. I respect the customs of their culture entirely, and never once (except for a few hot yoga classes in private) had even my shoulders or knees out. If you don’t want to attract a lot of attention, don’t look like sex on a stick to a continent full of people who are used to seeing women dressed from their neck to their toes (I think I’ll have to write a whole blog post about travelling India as a woman, because there’s so many Westerners I’ve met who miss the point!). I enjoyed the contrast of travelling with my gal pal, Verity, who I’ve had the experience of exploring many continents with over the years. I was wholly prepared to come alone when I booked this trip, but it would have been so different, and way less fun without her.
This kind of holiday isn’t for everyone, its not really a “pretty place” where you go and sip cocktails & relax… but India makes me feel alive, and oh so fucking grateful to be so, unlike anywhere else on Earth. Looking back, I already know one of my favourite activities on this trip was visiting Varanasi, where they burn the bodies. I had intense meditations before I came here, where I envisioned myself here & the moment felt so real, and poignant – I felt called to come here for the first time this trip, and just so happened to do so on the anniversary of my Dad passing away 16 years ago. The energy in Varanasi is busy – how could it not be, thousands of people are cremated here in public every month and 10’s of thousands come to pay their final respects to their loved ones here. It is an honour to be cremated in Varanasi, so they don’t mourn like we do.. They celebrate the life, and I want to take that energy into the next experience I have with losing a loved one.
I could talk about India for days, but I already have with these massive posts exploding with all of the words, funnelled into my favourite creative outlet, this blog… I wrote most of this post before I even got back to Australia, but I’ve been home now for almost a month & I’m still reliving some moments from this trip. It was exactly the reset I was looking for – a break from digital devices, a break from being so ‘go-go-go’ like I am in my daily life, and a reconnection with my soul. So much healing and awareness came from this trip, and I know just like the last 2 times I was here, I will never be the same person again. This time, in an entirely different, yet still incredibly-well-timed way. This country just has that way with me.
India, you haven’t seen the last of me. Until next time…
❤️ Bella Sharma ✌🏻
belletakesontheworld 